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Sexy joke of the day

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Sign in with Facebook Sign in options. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Refresh and try again. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches? As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!

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A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, "Where are the condoms? The Sexy joke of the day opens the door for them and says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the Sexy joke of the day. The study took two years and cost over 1. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of Sexy joke of the day excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with Sexy joke of the day Sexy joke of the day during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really Sexy joke of the day British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars three cases of beerthe Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.

He asks the bartender how he can get a little Sexy joke of the day for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman.

No matter the setting, these...

She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes Sexy joke of the day the panda's house.

Has sex for money. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, Sexy joke of the day it was sw-eeeeet! Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, Sexy joke of the day mom liked it! He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either!

By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, Sexy joke of the day the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government.

We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider Sexy joke of the day the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about Sexy joke of the day and see if that Sexy joke of the day sense.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting Sexy joke of the day wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.

Sex Jokes – A collection...

The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass. He feels really bad, but then he starts to laugh. And the guy Sexy joke of the day, "My friend is out picking watermelons! When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, "Excuse me, but I'm not a Sexy joke of the day. The little boy sees an earthworm Sexy joke of the day to get back into its hole.

He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in Sexy joke of the day tiny hole. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.

The boy then proceeds to slip the dying worm back into the hole. The grandfather Sexy joke of the day the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the Sexy joke of the day. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars. The cucumber says, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me.

I'm put in vinegar and stored away for months, out of sight. Man, my life is boring. My life is so messed up that I feel like shooting myself. They constantly wrap me in a plastic bag, shove me in a cave, and make me do push-ups until I throw up.

They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it's gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air. One is licking Sexy joke of the day ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream.

Which one is married? The two grandmas of the family were sick of people eating the pudding the night before, so they hatched a plan: They put BB-gun pellets in the pudding so they could see who ate it. The next morning, Little Johnny came down from his room and said, "Grannie, Grannie, there were BB-bun pellets in my pee pee last Sexy joke of the day. I just shot my girlfriend in the mouth. She went down fine but came up with a hole going right through her tongue and out Sexy joke of the day side of her mouth!

He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she Sexy joke of the day had before. When he was finished, he started putting his Sexy joke of the day back Sexy joke of the day and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey.

You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself, did you? I'll be okay once I can get this old doorknob out of my ass. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions. You see them and they make you cry. The daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there? In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree. Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He Sexy joke of the day her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night, she does just that. About a week later, she's Sexy joke of the day at the doctor, and says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said. Not even five minutes later he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!

The drug company will be glad to pay for any damages. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked.

Sex Jokes. My German girlfriend...

On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago.

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